Have you lost your cool in the middle of a Bible Study? I have. We were a small group of six or seven of us gathering in the same Coffee Shop week after week for almost two years. The thread of my temper had been worn out due to some family conflicts. One of the younger participants, with whom I have had amicable conversations on other occasions – became visibly embarassed by my loudness. She said in her obvious fluster: “Calm down, this is a public place and we are Christians, please sit down.” To no avail. I had passed the threshold of utter frustration. I was misunderstood.

On the following week, I went back to the Coffee Shop. I gave each one my apology for my agitation. They each cordially welcomed me. A few months later, at the same Bible Study, I found myself in a similar predicament. I said to them, “I have to leave.” I walked out of the coffee shop. The following week, I proclaimed another round of heartfelt apologies. Since several weeks now, I have stopped attending the Bible Study. Not for the reason of my outbursts, but for replacing that time in solitary prayer. I was facing a fog of intense sadness. I felt that I had failed God in all my endeavors.

I scheduled meetings with God. Some nights, I would wake up and read His words from Scripture. I would ask Him to quiet my mind, so that I could hear Him speak to me. This went on for several days. There was Karina* who would pray for me when my endurance would fail. I had prior prayer contact with her, I knew that God’s holy Spirit lived within her. She would reply to my texts anytime I needed her praying. I texted her, “Karina, can you call me.” My cell phone rang. She began to pray like Abraham who was a friend of God. She told Him plainly what I needed, intermingled with simple analogies of word pictures.

Then one day, like the sun rising with radiance, the Light of Jesus shone all around me. My whole being sensed the joy of His presence. I knew I had to go on, having a fresh gift of faith, letting go of whatever He showed me to be useless in my life. I knew He had the grace and the power of His Spirit to support me to live as He desired. What love! God the Father in heaven helps me believe again, I thought. I wanted to keep on staying in close contact with Him. The Bible verses began to penetrate my soul with the Creator’s vibrant voice, I shall keep company with Him.

• Name changed